reality

I can feel a sense of depression in me. Graduating from college is not all it's cracked up to be. It took me a grueling 7 1/2 years to finish, 2 years of hell being an RA so that my parents could afford my college tuition and I could stay at my expensive school. Conquering a learning disability with no extra help or medicine. How many people in this world can honestly say they have a B.B.A. in Visual Merchandising --- you would be correct if you answered "NOT MANY AT ALL." But I have been searching high and low for a Visual Merchandising job here in NYC. So many of my resumes have been sent out, that I cannot even count. I've even got to the point where I have applied for jobs back home in the DC area - because that is the closest place to home that Visual Merchandising would be the most important.

It's awful - I always figured, I would graduate and poof! There is a fabulous job at an amazing fashion house just waiting for me. It's not that easy kids. Wouldn't that make my parents proud? Thanks for getting me through college and my first apartment, but I'd like to come back and crash at your pad. I know it can't happen, because that is the easy way out -- and those who know me can say, I have never been one to take the easy way out of any situation. I am a fighter, and it took a conversation with my Mom tonight to make me remember that.

I will be honest, as embarrassing as it seems to me, most of the days since I graduated I would wake up, lay on the couch, cry - feel sorry for myself, eat dinner, watch more tv, then go to bed. I'm not doing it anymore. That's not me, and I have to snap out of it.

So the next step. Go shopping, hang out with others more, and get myself out there in the NYC social life. I'm even planning a couple trips to see old friends- which I am really excited about. I'm realizing, most people would kill for this down time I have right now. Although it is frustrating for me, I know it's going to pick up. I only know this after that said phone call with my Mom. What would we do without our parents...honestly?? I urge everyone to take some time out, anything that is bothering you - get it off your chest. Try it out on your parents. I can tell you, that you are going to get some positive reenforcement and some great advice.

Enjoy the quote!

"Enjoy where you're at in life. You won't always be there. Whether it's good or bad; it's never permanent." - Me

...I'm just saying..